permutations and God

one of my favorite things to talk about is synchronicity. i adore hearing magical stories about coincidences put in place by God; they remind me of how involved the Divine is with everyday human life.

on monday, i had tutoring for math, except i had no motivation to be tutored. usually, i have things to work on and questions to ask, but that day i was just not in the mood. my planner is brim with things left undone: studying, projects, homework, essays, you name it. i left school today feeling sad and stressed and absolutely ticked that i had tutoring, because i saw it as a waste of my time on that specific day. except, it was too late to cancel. so i went through with it. i ended up going over the next section i was to learn in math, so that i could get a head start. what we’re currently learning has to do with probability, so in tutoring we went over permutations.

mathematically speaking, a permutation is a specific and chosen way in which a set of things can be ordered, arranged, or done in. a permutation in my own life is my endless to-do list of priorities, including homework, laundry, errands, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

when tutoring was over, i went back to being stressed and unfaithful to the fact that my life does have a plan, and that i was made fully clothed with the strength and grace to get through even the toughest times. sitting down at my desk for dinner, i picked a random season of criminal minds and clicked the first episode i saw with an interesting thumbnail.

the episode is called “the uncanny valley” and it’s in season five. the opening scene of this episode is reid talking about playing chess, in which he specifically mentions permutations. permutations.

that is just too “uncanny” (cough, cough) to ignore! in that moment of hearing him say “permutations” my first thought was ‘what are the odds?!’

i mean, after all, i just learned about probability, which is based on the question, what are the odds?!

in this moment, i realized that it is as if God is sending me a clear and undeniable omen to take a breath and reprioritize. to piece back together the filaments of my frazzled soul and sit in peace. to remember that i was made well, that i was set up to succeed, that i was placed right here, right now, for a purpose. to create a permutation for myself in this whirlwind of an academic month that includes time for myself and time with God.

God speaks in the smallest of whispers – this is a truth that i have been taught since a very young age. just this past sunday at church, our sermon was about living at a slower pace in order to see Jesus in our everyday life – and i just did. it’s all coming together, even in the simplest of ways.

something i’ve been learning about and truly experiencing recently is the magic of abundance and synchronicity (or miracles, or coincidences – whatever you call them). it is said that once you surrender, once you trust, and once you unconditionally love yourself, this magic will effortlessly flow into your life.

it’s all coming together; i can see it and i can feel it. even in the seemingly strangest of ways – math homework and criminal minds – i received God’s message telling me to settle down and to remember that it will be okay. and it will. i know this now.

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